Definition

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 A conscious, willful, deliberate and repeated hostile activity marked by an imbalance of power, intent to harm, and/or a threat of aggression. 

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In Plain English

Bullying can take different forms, including:

• Verbal: taunts, name-calling and put-downs, threats and intimidation
• Social: exclusion from peer groups, ganging up, ridiculing, extortion or stealing of money and possessions
• Physical: assault and sexual assault
• Cyber: using the computer or other technology to harass or threaten

Bullying is repeated, and it needs to include some form of a power imbalance; It can happen anywhere, in the community, at school, in the park across the street from home, on a sports team or club. When bullying goes from bad to worse, it may lead to a feeling of terror on the part of the individual being bullied.

Whatever form bullying takes, it’s a myth that it’s ‘just something people have to go through.’

If you think about it, most people have been a target of bullying at some point in their lives. They may have also been the person who was doing the bullying or, most certainly, seen someone being bullied. It’s hurtful and harmful and is NOT a normal part of growing up.

Bullies may not think much of it, but giving someone a demoralizing nickname or teasing them relentlessly is abuse, even if it’s followed by “I was only kidding” or “can’t you take a joke?”

• It’s not okay. It’s not normal.
• See the bigger picture.

Bullying has a way of wearing down a someone's self-esteem. Names can hurt just as much as broken bones, and teasing isn’t always done in fun. You should like going to school everyday. You should be able to get a text message or an email without feeling sick. Leaving your house in the morning shouldn’t require a mental pep talk. People who are bullied suffer 24/7 - not just right when something happens to them.

If you’re being bullied, you need to know that your situation is temporary. The real world, although not always a piece of cake, is full of options that you don’t always have as a teenager. Options like a larger pool of people from which to choose your friends and the ability to remove yourself from a threatening situation. But that doesn't mean you should continue to suffer now...

Although it may be hard to believe sometimes, you’re not alone. Others will stand with you to stop the bullying. Times have changed. There are people in your life that will understand and help, if you can tell them what you need.
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Society as a whole is impacted by bullying - even bullies themselves. Through their own actions and the inaction of others, people learn that antisocial behaviour and exerting control over others (whether verbal, physical, social, via email, etc.) is acceptable and that it works. Everyone has a role to play in making our communities, homes and schools hopeful and happy places to be.

In the most recent tragic incidents of bullying - why did those individuals feel so alone? Why didn’t anybody do anything? Or say anything? There are always more excuses than valid reasons for not stepping in.

1. The bully is my friend.
2. It’s not my problem. This isn'y my fight.
3. He's not my friend.
4. She’s a loser.
5. He deserved to be bullied, asked for it, had it coming, so why stop it? He didn’t even stand up for himself, so why should anyone else stand up for him?
6. Bullying will toughen her up. Who wants to be called a tattletale or a rat, blamed for getting someone else into trouble?
7. It’s better to be in the in-group than to defend the outcasts.
8. It’s too big of a pain.

(Adapted from “The Bully, The Bullied and The Bystander” by Barbara Coloroso.)
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